Wednesday, August 22, 2012

The Real Me...

Do you ever find yourself wondering what other people are really like? When I was a kid, my mom had lots of girlfriends and we would go visit them or they would drop by and the kids would play outside while the grownups visited about work, love and life, ordinary or extraordinary things. I learned lots of things I probably had no business knowing because I was a quiet girl and I think they forgot I was there!

Things are different now. Our sociology has changed and we have set standards of perfection that cannot be attained. We are very connected electronically but I miss the presence of a friend. Granted, the issue is exacerbated by my personal circumstances. I am fortunate enough to stay with my children so a day or two may pass when I don’t even leave the house. My family is 1,200 miles away and our little family moved to a new town last year so we are no longer close to the friends I had grown to know and love.

Needless to say, I am like a kid in a candy store when I get to spend time with adults. Manners are forgotten, silliness abounds and way too many questions are asked out of simple curiosity…and this is how I act, not my kids! At 41, I expected more in the way of social development.

It is good to be around othere people, it gives me perspective. I have to admit that when I hear another parent say things like, “Buddy, you may not climb the restaurant”or “Aster, honey, please take my hair out of your mouth!” I am so grateful because I realize that I am not alone!

See, sometimes it feels like I am alone and that is just the truth. As a woman of faith with a deeply blessed marriage and three kids who wake at six-something in the morning, I assure you, I am NEVER alone, but it feels like it sometimes.

Now, to the point…I was wondering if you ever feel the same way? Since I don’t really expect you to drop in on me and you don’t know my mother and therefore can’t tell her what my home looks like right now, I feel free to share. Don’t get me wrong, I like a neat house. Remember the movie SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY? Until I found out the villain was evil, I totally enjoyed the organized canned goods and perfectly aligned towels, still do, in fact. However my reality changed when I had kids. More on that later but come peek in the windows…from where I sit in my getting-worn-out, beige recliner I see:
- Legos on the floor (at least a kid is playing with them)
- a blanket crumpled, again on the floor
- piles of books
- my purple sweatshirt on the couch
- pillows thrown less than neatly on the couch (yeah)
- TV center drawer open
- dust
- wow, the floor needs vacuuming
- a dog scratching (nice…)
- my husband still steaming from a workout outside
- a little girl asleep in the other beige chair with a bunny and a book
- yet another boy that I can’t actually see because he is wrapped around behind me sleeping which is making writing to you very challenging

Here’s the thing, all of these imperfections that would drive me crazy are, in some way, great gifts, even the dust and the dirty dog. As a labor of love, I will probably clean up soon. When I do, I hope it is for them, to make our home. I hope it is not as it has been so many times, cleaning in spite of them or around them, annoyed with them. In the meantime, you are welcome here, please like me anyway. I have potential and right now, I want to choose the best part…and hope that this is what I am really like.

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